Liz Isn't Funny: Archive

Mar 15th

2,659 notes

Feb 13th

5 notes

Dec 21st

137 notes

Dec 21st

350 notes

Dec 21st

53 notes

Dec 4th

6 tags

Nov 4th

546 notes

Oct 27th

4 tags

Oct 15th

2 tags

Oct 9th

731 notes

1 tag

Oct 6th

2 tags

Units of Power

fakescience:

Oct 6th

372 notes

Easter Egg of the Day: Head over to the Brigham... →

thedailywhat: Enter the Konami Code (up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a), and kiss the next twenty minutes of your life goodbye. [reddit.] hello, greatest friday afternoon, ever.

Oct 1st

719 notes

Sep 30th

30 notes

Sep 23rd

1,511 notes

3 tags

Sep 8th

6,559 notes

2 tags

Sep 1st

2,239 notes

3 tags

Taking Taco Tuesday VERY Seriously

James: ITS TACO TUESDAY!!!!!!!!
Me: heeeeellll yessssssss. 
Me: next week we are making fajitas, just fyi.
James: whoa whoa. 
James: what.
James: so we're having it on friday?!
Me: WHAT?
Me: what the hell are you talking about.
Me: no, taco tuesday is going to be fajitas.
James: but fajita tuesday doesnt rhyme
Me: unless you want it to be mexican monday, so we can mix it up
James: as long as you make the name rhyme ill be happy

Aug 31st

Just to re-cap...

Names that employers, co-workers or other outside sales people have called me that aren’t my actual name: Emily (More as a term of affection by my old boss. Having seen The Devil Wears Prada, she declared me her “Emily”. The nickname stuck.) Lisa (Former boss’ father’s incorrect interpretation of my name.) Trish (Former boss’ father’s name for me the...

Aug 16th

2 tags

Aug 11th

2 tags

Aug 10th

74 notes

3 tags

Convos with Maggie

Maggie: What are your wedding colors?
Me: Navy, ivory and rust
Maggie: Thanks!
Me: Why do you ask?
Maggie: I wanted to find coordinating wrapping supplies for your present. But failed.
Me: Ah, I'm terribly sorry. 
Me: Though I greatly appreciate the effort and it will be duly noted when considering your thank you card.
Maggie: Oh, I figured I just won't give you anything. Just because I can't find matching paper.
Me: Ok. Understandable. I would do the same.
Maggie: We're so alike.
Me: It's uncanny.
Me: Our sarcasm is so dry it could recede the shoreline.

Aug 6th

2 tags

Jul 30th

308 notes

3 tags

Sprinting

Know what is an unfortunate side effect of drinking VAST amounts of coffee in the morning? Aside from the heart palpitations and the overwhelming desire to propel yourself out of a conference room window 2 stories above a channel of water to test the theory that you can fly? The sudden and crippling need to pee every 15 minutes before you lose control of your bladder.

Jul 23rd

1 tag

Jul 22nd

1,814 notes

2 tags

Jul 21st

2 tags

Jul 16th

3 tags

Jul 15th

6 notes

Jul 8th

171 notes

nothingofanyimportance: Dear Lindsay Lohan, Have a good summer. Love, Everyone

Jul 7th

Well, Goddamnit.

My other other OTHER new favorite show, Party Down, was cancelled. This is total bullshit, guys.

Jun 30th

2 tags

Jun 30th

199 notes

Jun 29th

3,924 notes

Jun 25th

2 tags

Jun 25th

1 tag

What Does NASA Do?

fakescience:

Jun 24th

257 notes

3 tags

All's Quiet on the Office Front

 (when I'm bored, and James is away from his desk, I'll start pestering him on gchat)
Me: jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaames
Me: when i had the idea to write that, i was really going braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains in my head, like a zombie, and giggled
Me: because braaaaains and jaaaames sounds the same
Me: i know you are just so excited to be spending the rest of your life raising a family with a mildly  retarded beauty like myself.
James: i wouldn't have given you a  ring if i didn't want my  children to be just as  insane

Jun 24th

The story of how I will never wear this dress to...

Now that the weather is summery, I’ve taken to wearing dresses to work. I’m limited to two dresses that are work appropriate, and having recently gained weight, one of them has been taken out of the running. I wore the remaining dress to work today. It’s a v-neck but i wore a camisole underneath to shield my chest from the ogling eyes of overage men who work in my office. Today,...

Jun 23rd

2 tags

On this, the day of my goddaughters' baptism....

Me: Just so you know, James and I have been making godfather movie jokes since you asked us and there are no signs of it slowing down.
Ellie's Mommy: Awesome. I want a "best of the godfather jokes" asap
Me: It was more like bad impressions while he was trying on his [new] suit. Also, after the ceremony, we want to take a picture of me kissing his "ring" finger while holding Ellie. To frame and put on our living room wall.
Ellie's Mommy: done.
Me: I have to say that I am INCREDIBLY flattered that you think so highly of us that you think we are responsible enough to be this close to Ellie's life. Above your other family, friends.
Ellie's Mommy: it's because you guys deserve it and we love you so much and you love our daughter so much.

Jun 16th